GO TO JAIL!

Yay for Paris Hilton! This bimbo is finally going to jail. I can't believed she has the nerves to say she was treated 'unfairly'. Aww, poor Paris, your daddy's money can't get you out of jail? Or is it that your coochie can't get you out of trouble this time?

Seriously, I don't even know why she is a 'celebrity'. The first season of The Simple Life was good, mainly because everyone wants to see how she survived in the real world. Remember that horrible movie she did a few years back? Yeah, I laughed and applauded when she got killed. Her acting sucks, even in her other film, "One Night in Paris". That album she put out a year ago? I didn't even bothered downloading it ILLEGALLY, it's not worth wasting bandwidth. Although I'm pretty sure she made the DJ plays it at those heroine clubs she goes to all the time.

I do hope that she enjoy the butchess and the rugmunchers in jail. Hey, I have an idea! Why not do The Simple Life Season whatever there? OK, I know I'm mean, but I do have a present for her:

Ok Paris. Just print this out and give it to the cops. They'll let you out for free. If you can't get out, I can watch Tinkerbell for you.

My first week of unemployment

Hey, what's up? Yes, I survived a month in Cleveland. The trip was better than I expected, despite the crappy weather. I'll probably talk about it next time.

Yeah, so I am currently unemployed. The first week of May marked the beginning of my unemployment journey. I pretty much bummed out the first week I came back to NY. It was weird because I can feel my body screaming, "THANK YOU". I am not as stressed out and actually feeling quite energetic. The only drawback so far is the lack of motivation to do things, a.k.a. lazy. I don't know what it is, I just wanted to chill, watch some TV, or go to the park and jog. Going to bed before the 10 o'clock news is new to me, and you'll be surprised what's on TV 5:30 in the morning! Maybe this is what retirement is like?

I've also been eating a lot lately, I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing. I know I need to grow some meat, but at the same time, I don't want to become a Chinese Rosie O'Donnell...ching chong I'm getting fat because I'm unemployed..ching chong!

How to get fired from a movie theatre!

Before my PR Newswire days, I used to be the First Assistant Manager at a local multiplex. It was fun while it lasted.

When I left the theatre, they upgraded the security cameras to an all digital system. Thank god I left before the upgrade, or else I wouldn't be able to get away with some stuff that I did..ahem ahem!

So some moron, who was a manager, decided to do some wrestling moves on a display. Apparently he is a big fan of The Rock, because he did "The People's Elbow". I guess he didn't realized that the cameras were rolling?

I don't know how this got posted on YouTube, but I just think it is hilarious. Can anyone see which movie the display was for?

Pity...that I'm an Aquarius

This is for a friend who recently broke up:

So this is how you treasure me?
I never heard you say it before.
Don't say your little precious gifts,
Can't keep me from you,
You understand the truth behind our breakup.

No matter how stupid I was,
It was clear who treated me well.
I wanted to continue to act stupid,
But cannot continue with this torture.
I admire those lovers,
So blinded and not worry about the results.

It's as the strongest castle,
Still crumbles through time.
Even the stubborn old me,
Can't even continue on.
Acting like we were happy,
But my heart cries everyday.

I am leaving,
Please don't make me cry.
You know Aquarius loves to cry.
If there is something I can say,
To keep you away,
I don't want to go through another heartbreak.

I am leaving,
No medicine can stop this pain.
I would have a Long Island Iced Tea,
For a good night sleep.
It doesn't matter if it's now and 10 years later,
The end is still going to be bitter,
I would still bail myself out...
From this relationship.

Condolences to VA Tech

My deepest sympathy to the victims at Virginia Tech. I might not know any of them, but I know the pain of losing someone close. I am putting up this virtual candle in memory of the victims.



Please tell your local TV stations to limit their broadcast of the killer's videos. It was a breaking news in the morning, but now it feels like watching a really bad film.

Fire Rosie O'Donnell TOO!

So Don Imus got the boot for calling the Rutgers women's basketball team, "nappy-headed hos". I think it's bullshit. It is true that what this old man said was inappropriate and insensitive, but there were other media personalities out there who got away with what they said. Hell, Rosie got away with an apology!? I just think people don't understand the severity of making "Ching Chong" sounds or playing the "Tsunami Song" on the radio. Let me set the record straight: to an Asian person, especially Chinese people, making the "ching chong" sounds to depict how we speak, or playing a song saying, "Screaming chinks" & "Little Chinamen" is just as bad as calling a group of black women, "nappy-headed hos". Screw you, Rosie & Miss Jones!

I don't feel bad for Don Imus, but I think his punishment is unjust. If Miss Jones @ Hot 97 and Mrs. I am loud got away with an apology, I think Don Imus should be too.



or

There was a time
When the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan
Then the next thing I knew
A wave 20 feet high came and washed your whole country away
And all at once you could hear all the screaming Chinks
And no one was safe from the wave
There were Africans drowning
Little Chinamen swept way
You could hear God laughing "Swim You bitches, swim"
[Chorus]
So now you're screwed, it's a tsunami
You better run and better kiss your ass away
Go find your mommy
I just saw her float by, a tree right through her head, and now your children will be sold child slavery
[Repeat chorus]

See my point? No? Well, I think Michelle Malkin can explain it to you a bit better:

A recap of my first week in Cleveland!

I just have to get it out of my chest. With my arrival in Cleveland,

The population of Asians in Cleveland: +0.01%
The population of Asians in New York: unaffected.

Without a doubt, I love the apartment my company put me in. An apartment like this in New York would cost me an arm and a leg. The restaurant experience so far has been positive. Starting with my first night at the Chop House, and a seafood experience in Barret's Seafood (sp?), the food is quite on par with some non-chain restaurants in NY. Although I have to admit with the lack of ethnic food here, I kind of miss my hanging ducks & kimchi. The nightlife here is somewhat lowkey, but my NY crew (Young, Rich, Toole, Tania and Alberto) have been making it quite fun. Hell, my first night here, a 26 looking 21 year old asked me to sit on her barf!

The new Cleveland office is quite nice. I actually feel like finally working in an office. Everything is brand new, and I love how everyone has a hive-shaped cube. One side of the office has the great view of Lake Erie, which is quite nice to look at during sunrise. The co-workers are a nice group of people.

I do have to admit, I hate the weather here. It reminds me of good ol' Utica in Upstate NY. The damn lake might be pleasant during the summer, but it brings unnecessary lake effect snow. Also, there are a tad too much bums in the downtown area. I walked into a CVS with a bum asking me for change, and I told him, "Me no speak English...you fuck off."

I finally want to show off my apartment. If I have an apartment like this in New York, I would throw a party here every weekend.

As you come in from the front door. You see an open kitchen/dining room/living room

The open kitchen/dining room

The living room. You know I'll have my plasma there if this IS my apartment.

The other side by the front door (closet, bedroom, bathroom)

This is my bedroom. I'll have better sheets if I rent this place.

My walkin closet. It would be full if I brought all my clothes!

An in-apartment washer/dryer! That's the bathroom behind the door. No pictures. Just a regular, nice bathroom :)

You want me to do WHAT?

With the crazy lake effect snow in Cleveland, I am not in the mood to go out. As bored as I am right now, I've decided to Google Map the driving directions from France to New York. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just hop in a rental car, and drive to France and back?

All directions seem to be normal until it reached the shores of France. I stared at my screen and then started to laugh hysterically. Why? Here's why:



I shit you not, my friends. Google wants me to swim across the Atlantic! Talk about "artificial intelligence"! If I'm a dumbass and actually followed the directions, I could probably sue Google for a gazillion. Maybe it's not a bad idea after all. Anyone wants to join me in driving a rental car into the Atlantic?

Au revoir, New York...for now....

As some of you know, today is my last day at PR Newswire. Back in September, my company announced that they are centralizing all operation bureaus to Cleveland and Albuquerque. Since I've decided to stay in NY, I'll be heading to the "land of unemployment"...scary!

However, things happen for a reason (quoting a friend of mine). I have agreed to move to Cleveland for a month to help out. Apparently the Cleveland international group isn't ready to take over the sudden influx of workload, especially with earnings around the corner. I have no problem doing this, it's a free trip for me, plus I can make some $$ out of it. One thing I am looking forward to is hanging out with Young Joo, Alberto and Toole again. I'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon and will return on the last day of April.

I will definitely take pictures and blog about the weirdos I hope to meet on the "mean streets of Cleveland" (quoting a Cleveland coworker).

So au revoir, New York! I better not see $4 a gallon of gas when I come back!

Who the hell are you?

I am currently subscribed to 4 different magazines: GQ, Time, GamePro and PC World. I read them when I have insomnia, during my commute, or when I'm taking a dump. So back in February, GamePro was giving away a Nintendo Wii for the best "To Editor" letter. I've decided to make some shit up, and pray for that Wii. This is what I wrote to the editor:

I want to thank Nintendo for producing the Wii. The Wii is not just another video game system, it's a social network tool. My family members have gotten a lot closer because of the Wii. My little brother no longer hides in his room 24/7 because he actually comes out and play Wii Sports with us in the living room. My slightly overweight sister has shed a couple of pounds within 2 weeks of playing with the Wii. I actually enjoy going home to visit now! The Wii is also a great way to meet some new friends. I have met many new friends, and my current girlfriend, at my best friend's Wii party.

I do have one small complaint. On the way to a Wii party, I was questioned by the NYPD because they overheard my conversation about the "Wii party". They thought I was heading to a party with an illegal drug which sounds very similar to the system. But thank you for that too! I've never gotten questioned by the cops, so it was a very unique experience. You guys see how the Wii brings people together? - Kevin

I'm not sure if I got that Wii, but again, they haven't announced the winner as of the latest issue. I did, however, received a response from a video game fanboy:

Dude that is so funny what you said in gamepro about the wii party.I had
a almost same thing happen to me.that's for the laugh!!!
--boyrobbin13

I was wondering how the hell he got my email address. At the same time, I think this guy is an editor at GamePro. Maybe I did win a Nintendo Wii, maybe not. This is just as bad as getting a lap dance from a stripper: it's such a tease!